The Myth Of Sexual Invulnerability
by on Nov 30th, 2010 at 11:40 pm
The image of the man of God who can go through life without any lustful attraction to a woman because he has “victory” over his sexuality exists only in the minds of men of God who can’t go through the day without encountering the onslaught of lustful thoughts for women (or in some cases, men). They crave “victory” over their lust, which is usually translated as no temptation to lust any more, and their frustration with the presence of lust in their own eyes and hearts makes them feel like weak failures as men.
Why is it that we think real, strong men of God are no longer vulnerable to the sin of lust? Why do we think “victory” over lust means never having a single tendency to misuse attraction? The reality is that even the most spiritually mature of living men of God still must guard their eyes, hearts, and minds from the potency of illegitimate sexuality. The men that I consider heroes of the faith would probably sicken me if I was allowed access into their minds an afternoon or less. I know that I would sicken you if you knew how prevalent the battle has been, continues to be, and most likely will be in the future. Without the grace of God, the righteousness of Christ, and the power of the Holy Spirit, I’m toast!
Sexual invulnerability is a myth and we need to destroy it aggressively as the Church if we are going to help God’s men get a realistic perspective on sexuality and the perversions that sin inject into one of God’s greatest gifts. Instead of pretending that a mark of spiritual maturity is the ability to never lust, we should be proclaiming that such maturity is really found in the confession of lust, the confession of the flesh’s desire to lust, and the reliance upon God to guide us through these lusts with ways of escape. We need to embrace our weaknesses and view taking the ways of escape that God provides as a sign of spiritual strength instead of giving off this idea that a real man of God has no need to escape due to his indomitable control over his sexuality.
Every human is subject to limitations. We can’t go very long without air, water, or nourishment. We need human contact and community for sanity’s sake. We must have adequate clothing and shelter to survive the elements of our environment. Believers in Christ have been freed from the slavery of sin, but all still live within a sin-nature-saturated robe of flesh. These are all limitations that the bravest and strongest of humans cannot transcend on their own power. Call if weakness if you will, but weakness is not cowardice.
When we seek to make provisions for most of these limits, we do not feel like failures as humans. I do not find shame in getting a drink of water. I do not hide the fact that I grow hungry or tired. I wear a coat when it’s cold because I like to survive. I sleep inside a building because it’s better than being exposed to the elements of rain, heat, sleet, snow, or below-freezing temperatures. No one begrudges me time and energy to make a plan for addressing these needs because it is part of life. Only a fool would purposefully neglect these needs when he/she had the power and provision to meet them.
Yet, it’s the sin nature stuff that causes us to be inconsistent in our thinking of limits and treatment of others who are subject to them. I have a sin nature. I pervert the good things that God has made. God’s gift of being attracted to a naked woman is supposed to find its fulfillment in adoring and loving my one wife. Yet, I am tempted, and have succumbed, to feeding the lustful thoughts that accompany a perverted adoration of other women (some naked in clothing and others undressed in the mind). Is that awful? Yes. Did I rebel against God by idolizing another and making an object of a valued human being? Of course. Do I need to repent? Certainly. Should I never do that again? Most certainly. Then why am I a freak if I get ahead of my sinful nature and place provisions for purity around my life?
Men, in the same way that we do not show disrespect or disdain for the fireman who wears a fire-protective suit or the scuba diver who wears an oxygen tank, we should not belittle or criticize the men who take protective measures against the lust-saturated environment that is 21st-century America. Utilizing internet filters, avoiding certain shows, channels, search settings, or asking other men to guard your access to certain sites is a sign of weakness in that you recognize your limits, but it is not a sign of cowardice or immaturity. We would all be wise to recognize that we have sexual flanks, which Satan will try to circumvent if we are not soberly guarding them.
Let us actually help each other guard the purity of our lives for the sake of our holy God, our future (or current) spouses, our future (or current) children, our own spiritual and physical health, and our testimonies to other believers as well as strangers in the faith. Let us stop thinking that being vulnerable to sexual desire is a sign of spiritual immaturity. We are fools to pretend that we don’t struggle, sinners to succumb to the struggle, and fellow soldiers to guard each other through the struggle.