12 Reasons Why We Need Godly Men More Than Ever
by on Oct 7th, 2009 at 8:40 am
#3 - The Lack of Intergenerational Relationships is Killing the Vitality of the Church
Last spring, a group college students, burdened by the need to challenge each other in the area of biblical manhood, organized a men’s conference at our university. To prepare for this conference, they surveyed several campus faculty and staff members to determine what messages were of greatest importance for men in their stage of life.
One young man, a person I respect very much, requested an interview with me about this issue, and I was happy to help in any way possible. His main question to me was, "What do you think is the greatest need among men in our generation?" My answer was, "You need the wisdom and guidance of the older generations."
Life as a male in American culture can be isolating and lonely. We spend the first twenty-plus years of our lives gaining an education in age-segregated classrooms. Our leisure time is usually spent enjoying a movie, show, or activity that has been prepackaged by the producers for a “target audience,” which is usually defined by age. If we are active in church, we find ourselves progressing through the discipleship ministries as we age. Then, when we reach “adulthood,” we engage in classes or small groups that are determined by station in life: singles, college group, young married couples, young parents, just plain married, just plain parents, senior citizens, etc. Very little of what we do is intergenerational, and what little we do in an intergenerational setting is not really designed for the meaningful building of relationships.
Whether you consider me part of your generation or not (I’m 29), the sad reality is that most of us lack strong, accountable relationships with older men of God whose lives have proven worthy of marking and following. There are many reasons for this lack of connection, and a little blog is not the place to spell out every reason. However, this issue is not a secret, and the problem is recognized by God-honoring men, such as Voddie Baucham, God-honoring women, such as Mary Farrar, and non-believing sociologists, such as Michael Kimmel.
Whatever the reasons for our sociological, generational compartmentalization and isolation, the effect it is producing within the church is devastating. First, each generation is being left to lead itself, with the result for younger generations that the blind are leading the blind. Young males are looking to each other for guidance because the older men are off saving the world or building one of their own. Each generation is left to probe around in the dark to find its own solutions, which is proving to be a big waste of time, energy, and productive ministry.
Second, because fewer men are engaging the younger generation, the younger generation of males has fewer God-honoring role models to emulate. Like worship, however, kids will emulate someone and their choices are frightening. Having served as a children’s pastor, I know that men are not rushing to teach and lead children as much as they are flocking to more “adult” ministries. The children’s wing of a church can be the most feminine part of every building, and this is inexcusable in light of biblical directives for men to be instructing the younger generation just like women (see Psalm 78, Ephesians 6, and Titus 2).
We need God-honoring men who will put an end to this isolated atmosphere within the body of Christ. We need young men who show enough humility to seek counsel from older warriors of the faith, and then actively offer guidance and instruction to the younger generations. When this happens, younger men who are full of energy and passion gain the wisdom that they lack and the older men who are full of wisdom gain a renewed energy and passion for serving Jesus. The residue of our ages sticks to each group, and the church begins to operate with vitality and prudence.
If you are a young man just starting out on your own or standing on the precipice of taking such a step, you need to submit yourself to older men of faith. Do not wait for them to come to you. Search out wise men and ask them if you can sit at their feet and observe their lives. You will be surprised at how responsive older warriors can be to young soldiers.
If you are older, start actively reaching out to younger men who have all the desire in the world to be mighty for God, but who have no clue about how to navigate all of the obstacles that stand in the way of their desire. You will find a renewed energy and sense of purpose for investing in the body of Christ.