Inspiring Courage Through Personal Presence
by on Nov 10th, 2009 at 12:51 pm
With men, the strong bonds of friendship are rarely formed in small groups or settings where we sit together and share our feelings. Men are grafted together in friendship when they endure storms together. Usually, the most dangerous, uncertain, embarrassing, and intense moments of life prove to be the grounds on which men earn each other’s trust, which leads to deeper understanding and profound appreciation for one another.
The key element to forming these types of friendships is personal presence. We would much prefer to walk through life with a few trustworthy blood brothers than to wander through it alone, but blood brothers are only formed when we are there for someone in an hour of danger or need.
In my own life, this principle has proven to be true. The closest and strongest friendships I have were not born from spending time in small groups, church services, or just hanging out and wasting time. They were formed when my life was rocked by some trauma and these men refused to leave me to go through the situation on my own. Very few words were spoken in those dark moments, but the power of a friend’s presence was priceless. I knew that I could count on them and only hope that my presence was found when they needed me.
In leadership, as in friendship, the power of presence can often be worth far more than any speech, program, or incentive. If you commit to being there for someone when they are vulnerable or in need you will gain a new level of appreciation and trust on their part. If you are nowhere to be found, you might still be respected, but the relationship has been limited in its depth.
The life of a man of God will be difficult, but God never intended for us to walk through it alone. He promises His presence, which is sufficient, but He also offers us the gift of friends, which is yet another layer of blessing, and we are foolish to abuse or neglect such a gift. We can gain much encouragement from the presence of another man of God in our midst, but we can also give courage when we are humble and selfless enough to stand beside a struggling brother.
Ironically, in those moments, we do not need to have the right words to say. We do not need to know the answers or solutions to the problems that our friend is facing. If we are there, willing to endure the pain and shame alongside him, then he will not give up fighting through his struggles.
My hope and prayer for the men of this generation is that we will be present when it matters. That we will be present, physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually, for our wives. That our children will find us by their side. That the oppressed and disregarded of our society will know that they have an advocate who will endure hunger and cold if it will show the love of Christ. Hebrews 10:19-25 calls us to encourage each other. As men, let’s use one of the most powerful means at our disposal, our own presence.